cold window and piano sad songs in the background is not something that would make your life easier

I feel like swimming in something heavy and half liquid, like honey..but with the taste of a spoonfull of garbage.

o portie

I woke up smoking on my window at 3.21 a.m. Got the most weird thoughts. It's 3 weeks since i'm trying to be less selfish. (= thinking more about what others wish and helping myself to understand other reasons and lives). Still, i cannot do it well. I'm the most selfish being on the planet. I am to blame for most of the nasty things that happen in this world ;)
Anywayzzz, i've got new brushes and colours. I'm trying to figure out what can i do, as i decided to give up the old way of doing things. It bugs me off. Sometimes i'm just too confused or dizzy to see what moves near me. I'm so static and unbalanced, that i succeed to ruin everything i start. All this trash around me + my messy floor makes me think about what a chaos i am. I play fool most of the time and pretend i'm fine, but.. i crumble inside, i breath slow, i almost faint when he's not near. I've been painting for nothing, i wish i could say i have something on my mind.

Come and say 'hello'. I badly need this.


"Iubirea nu trebuia sa fie ca un ciocan. As fi vrut sa cuprind lumea"
" Liniile intrerupte de pe autostrada se unesc daca mergi repede, dar ele tot intrerupte raman"

lie in

sunday afternoon, best time to hang out and be lazy.


i feel a bit chained in my own box, i cannot breathe. I've been writing and drawing a lot lately. The problem is that i cannot put them all together, I cannot put myself together. Like.. i lose all this time, i dream all this time, i crawl all this time, i search that certian arm and that certain smile all over.

I've been climbing my window, just to get a breath of fresh air. i couldn't feel a thing. Now i'm almost asleep on the floor, counting the hours until morning. I just hate that i have to sleep at night. I cannot stay awake because my body hurts, i cannot sleep because i have the strangest dreams and i wake up like insane; then all day is fucked up.

blah blah blah . too lazy to care after all, but i'm missing...

Politics

Incubus - Megalomaniac Video by Chad - MySpace Video



et voila!

straight line is godless

dezvolt dezvolt.

punct de plecare.

fac schite schite schite

ha!

mda, deci nu pot sa dau hide sau cv de genul la ce am postat pana acum. si nici sa le sterg nu ma lasa inima. nu de alta, dar ma mai amuz si eu de una alta. Ideea e ca sunt de ignorat, nu de citit, decat daca are cineva timp de pierdut sau un interes deosebit pt stari schizoide de cea mai slaba calitate. Adica eu le apreciez, stiu ce am in cap si ce bazaie acolo, dar .. well.. whatever. nu mai conteaza.


In curand o sa ma ocup de chestii dragute.

little disasters and atomic bombs in my head

Tired of people who won't know how to get closer.Tired of being so involved and still feeling nothing. Tired of faking it, tired of compromising, tired and vomiting over my tired mind and pretending i'm doing something useful. Tired of smiling without believing it, tired of falling for details, tired of being in love with the wrong guy, tired of filling my tormented soul with words and images i honestly dislike, tired of talking to shallow people just because i'm a social animal, tired and vomiting over my stupid and weak mind.
Today i went out all by myself, just because i wanted to smoke and have a drink and have a clever conversation with my deadly self. Told my mother that i was going to have a coffee with an old friend and ran out. I don't remember very well what i've done while being outside my house, i just know that this evening caught me half-depressed.

Laissant le monde à ses problèmes..:).

2 empty bottles of water on the floor. Funny picture of lazyness. Wondering about happyness and the desire of forgetting about it all. Music sounds alive in my head, but so far. like in an old recoder which i cannot stop. Head is heavy and I try to remember the last line I said . Nonsense.
I am so heavy, that i almost know how it feels like to lye like a corpse in a sandy land. My body won't move unless you push it down. Ceiling looks peaceful, all is peaceful. Nothing moves, nothing breathes. 8 seconds and i crumble.
Coffee. and i realize all this mess i'm in. Like.. Please don't fuck with people's feelings.
All i can think about in mornings like this - some poem of T S Elliot(the lovesong of j. alfred prufrock) and bloody murders.

I've been drawing something. i guess it's fine.

'

'There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;'

Living in a suitcase Meet a clown, fall in love. ....U.R.A. fever.

bai, eu ma apuc de ceva dragut.

i'll be back with beautiful, fascinating details.

trains stop where they are supposed to, stop hopping for Stockholm if yours goes directly to Brazil

I imagine we were too lost to realize, after all. Funny day indeed and it gets even funnyer when I ruin one of the most long lasting relationships/friendships I had. My fault for being such a kid and a idiot who believes in sweet nothings and guides her life according to her dreams.
Well, I should have learnt until now that some things cannot be forced and some people really can't get out of their boxes and they even drag you inside. My head is full of questions and unsolved problems, nasty creatures and dirty colours, I fell like writing a woolf-ish essay. Long live streams of consciousness!

Blah Blah Blah .


Then i wake up at 4 in the morning and feel like i've got no sleep under my eyelids. I force to get back and promise myself that all will be just fine and shinny if i get some sleep. Then i remember the walk on the street, all alone, at 11.30 p.m. when i stated that nothing would be the same anymore. Big words! tooo big, but i felt just like a stupid actor who can see nothing but black in front of his eyes and then all runs and slips away, curtians fall and.. well. you die or something. Lucky me for having the best friend in the world, like my twin or something, and we can hold each other so that we could breathe.

Now my computer plays some Blonde Redhead and Kasabian. And then if i get bored some crazy music i used to listen last summer with my best friends forever. I guess I'll switch to Cocorosie. :X


And i'm thinking about all these things i have always wanted to do and never actually did. well, it's high time, lazy cat.

Two shots in the morning, take it easy on yourself

Time flies, time lies. Ha!

It's like, I was just fine. Spent the most beautiful afternoon.. after sooo many weeks. :D
Smoked like crazy. It's funny that my body shares so many personalities sometimes.
May sun burns so bad.
I'm thinking about starting to learn Russian or German. But later a bit, after all these creepy exams are over. Although German would be too difficult for me, freaks me out sometimes. I cannot understand a word.

I've got my dearest friend near me, so i'm happy. :D

I'm thinking about changes. I feel like going for blue hair.

Oh, and i need a good book and a nice talker. ;) Anyone who tells nice stories? hm ?

and i remember this thing, a phrase that had been haunting my dreams until i saw the movie again : "to become a real artist, i knew i had to get out of that place" Ha! i could say the same. Had a strange feeling today, but ill tell some other time ;)

nu te misca, ametesc.

Moa, I've been breathing so slow.
yeah, I'm a bit slow these days.
I was thinking about some super stories and reading wonderful things. Hey Rushie, you rock my mind dude, 'Midnight Children' is one of the best things I've read. ;) oh yeah, it really caught me ( long enough to be late at school in the morning, but it's fine). Now I'm thinking about the whole India stuff. Anywayzzz, the thing is that it made me feel sooo much. And the long phrases, the tone, the connection between the narrator and the reader. No wonder they gave you a Nobel.

Imaginatia mea functioneaza diferit, ceea ce m-a ingijorat la inceput (adica acum o saptamana), dar E DE BINE pana la urma. E semn bun. Si poate ar fi un semn si mai bun sa ma apuc de invatat si de reluat carti de istoria artei si filosofie. ;))

E ca in lumea lui Stephane, la faza cu 'the drug dealer'. In mod ciudat si oarecum trist nu ma mai simt total ca el, adica, nu mai zboara norisori daca lovesc anumite note, nu mai merge masina timpului inainte si inapoi cu o secunda si nici nu mai am propria mea emisiune intr-un studio de carton la mine in cap. Still, I keep my mind and soul (desi ma gandisem ca as putea oferi spre vanzare un mic procentaj-Hello says the devil . Ha!). brrr. :( neah, long story, I'll tell some other time.
And I got fascinated (again and again, I know) about Ch. Manson and his people. Just for some hours, but long enough to start imagining muder scenes and bloody desasters, damaged walls and empty homes. Creepy feeling and devastating images and emotions. All in my head, all in my pocket.
Si m-am apucat din nou de ascultat Kasabian. E ceva care tremura de placere in creierasul meu cand ii ascult ;) eh, legaturi con el pasado .

Arw, azi parca totul se misca mult prea repede. Si am chef sa ascult pe cineva vorbind. SI nu am chef sa zic nimic nimanui, pentru ca nu as putea sa transmit verbal nimic.

e de bine

hurray for J.D. Salinger!! I never knew he used to write such stories. Beautiful indeed.


A weekend full of music and sand.
I officially dislike CFR ( bastards, I've always thought you were better, but i have the proof right beneath my eyes)
Drunk people are funny. ( degradarea umana atingand forme apoteotice care se traduc printr-un comportament care nu este nicidecum corespunzator , avand in vedere .... blah blah blah :))) no one killed me, mum. ;0
My organs value less
Cool lessons about friendship and people . Too cool, almost breath-taking.
etc, etc etc . ;)
:D

running out of sugar is not the worst thing that could happen to you at dinner. But i've seen better.

Listening to music, hoping that it'll help a bit.
british rock this evening. Harsh night again, i cannot get enough sleep, all slips, I'm confussed.
Still, great afternoon with my lovely friend. No school, little words, lots of understanding and dreaming-crying. eh, My ways are a bit strange. My dreams too. :)
I was thinking about all, having a taste of them all, things and people around me move too fast and they hear nothing of what i scream.

let's tell stories about the beautiful things we see everyday. :) it'll be so much more funny.

'say whatever you have to say' 'take whatever you have to take' . I don't like the kooks' song 'sway'

aham, and i love patrick's 'vulture'. Actually, i love the video more than the song. It reminds me of depeche mode and of so many devilish thoughts in my head . And it makes me feel way too gay. :)))) 'mama, don't worry, i say your boy is doing fine' ;)

Oh, and I listen to cocorosie and feel like going and hanging my shoes outside my window (this is a weird reaction indeed, but you cannot fight with people's feelings ) and then having a tea and 2 coffees.

I'm listening to The cure again (due to my hair loving so much Robert Smith). 'spider-man is having you for dinner tonight' 'boys don't cry' (and girls don't eat, but this is another myth and story)
I guess I'll be reading and sobbing for some 2 more days, but after all things go their way with me . I shall stop these worries and plans.
Uh, you lucky kids that can sleep good and dream nice. I envy you. ;)

driving a red car and listening to alien music must be your biggest dream this summer. mine not.

Don't show off you genius, let people discover it. (asta asa, ca o conluzie ciudata in urma observatiei indelungate asupra oamenilor narcisisti degeaba)


After all these days of strange calm and 'tristesse profonde', I've learnt to see people in a different way. It was high time, you'd say. But somehow I feel things went their way; they always do. THINGS GO THEIR WAY.
I've been thinking so much about humans, like never before. You see, 2 days ago I was dreaming about flying pianos and very talkative slippers, friendly clouds and everlasting moonshine. But then it came, all of a sudden, humanity, and woke me up: Come on, lazy cat, we expect something from you! Then I decided to look back, then to the left, to the right and to observe those eyes on me , so shinny and greedy, watching and waiting.
Perharps there was noone, but my mind decided that they could be, that they must have been there. It all happened like in a movie: when you realize, then the whole universe helps you and shows you the way you are supposed to walk on . A moment of happiness when you just breathe the most pure air in your galaxy.. And so, today was a special day. Thank you stars ;)

Aham, still wondering what calmed me down. I'm so unexpectably quiet and thoughtful(like the old times when i used to talk to myself and write a lot). Oh, and i feel like having beer no more.
I love my scarves again, I feel like I can survive without money again, I feel like having clever conversations with special people again ( someone over there ? hm? here, here, :D) . It's been so long, I've been numb for so long that now I feel like a new born.

And I'm in my strangest age, people.

get used to the fish flying and the car stopping in the desert. You'll need that as a lesson about life

Wondering about life And future. How bright is it after all?


fuck off, i'll walk away.


Working on something nice. Hope this time will be fine . ;) Fingers crossed. :D
I'll be back with super super things :d

cut off ;)

I want you to be crazy , 'cause you're stupid baby when you're straight
I want you to be crazy , 'cause you're boring baby when you're sane

mi-am reluat activitatea de visator si tarator. yey. Si zici ca sunt Robet Smith, asa imi sta parul. Si azi am desenat toata ziua . It's all in my mind. All in my pocket. All in my boxes.

I've got a crush on The Kills. Drept urmare, tot ce fac are legatura cu baloane negre si versuri stupide. Eh, si cu Andy Warhol, dar oricum mereu are legatura cu el, nu-i vorba doar de muzica pe care o ascult in astea 2 zile . ;)
ah, I FEEL MY BRAIN WORKING> IT FEELS SOOO GOOD> hurray
cu

cherie, i hope you die in a washing machine

Si pana la urma ce e mai important ? What would that be, stupid girl ?.


Blame it on Mickey Mouse. :p

keep going, buttonel (hey, that's me )

La un moment dat totul devine amuzant. Pana si faptul ca te clatini cand bate vatul sau cand se intampla sa tipe cineva la tine. Si dupa ce e amuzant incepe sa devina hilar.
Oricum nu despre cum trec eu prin lume si evenimente vruaim sa vorbesc, dar inevitabil asta sfarsesc a face de fiecare data. Aham, zicea cineva ca am un cult al personalitatii mele. Wrong! Eu doar ma observ si incerc sa ma inteleg. Decat ca mie imi ia mai mult decat altora. .. si de aici porneste nebunia.
Aseara am recuperat una din cartile mele preferate. Am recitit cateva pasaje si apoi am visat-o toata noaptea. Adica m-am visat pe mine ca Harry Haller. Numai ca nu mai stiu cine era Hermina, adica nu am reusit sa o indentific> Si nici pe Pablo, desi imi tot injecta ceva in picior( nu stiu exact de unde am facut conexiunea, mda) anywayzz. whatever.
M-am reapucat de ascultat muzica mea de toate zilele, adica muzica aia de dinainte de cocorosie. Adica sunt din nou indioata. welcome sweet years :D
WTF? ideea e ca i'm disappointed by my best friend . I can't breathe, i've just caught a cold.
Si eu, spre deosebire de alti copii draguti si echilibrati, nu pot sa merg drept. It's not like 'walk the line, Johnny!' . E altceva, you get the ideea...
Ideea e ca atunci cand sunt adult tai in carne vie. Si chiar nu vreau sa fac asta . Plus ca parca sunt un mic mare monstru de beton si nu reusesc sa ma vad decat din afara. Feels better to be a dreamer and to believe in sweet nothings. Plus ca numai asa iti permiti si o viata secreta. ;)
Aham, sa nu uit. de maine beau din nou cafea cu lapte. I'm too sour with sour coffee.

pff. neah, alta data.

ne uitam la filme. eu nu rezist niciodata pana dupa 4. Trebuie sa dorm macar 4 ore, altfel devin o baba morocanoasa.
Ma gandesc ca poate o zi din astea imi iau si eu liber total si dorm, apoi respir, apoi ascult niste cocorosie si apoi niste alta muzica, desenez, tac, ascult, fac povesti, vegetez. neah, de fapt nu-mi ajunge o zi si atat. imi trebuie vreo 2 zile.
Respir , respir , respir. prea rar :)) mi s-a zis ca respir la 8 secunde. cine o fi stat sa numere :)))

My Gabitu is leaving. cel putin asa se pare. Wish him all the happiness in the world. And all the good luck. da.. dupa asta e ca si cum s-ar inchide niste cercuri; tebuie sa desenez altele. si nu stiu daca imi mai ies la fel.

Like.. damn! we are soo changed. All this coffee in front of us and we are incapable of having the same free conversations. our gestures and words are changed, we look at each other, we stare like aliens, someone's smoking, someone's drinking, someone's lost, someone's crying like a baby, someone gives up, starts again, takes the subway, calls someone in the middle of the night, . faci si tu o cafea?

I keep my thoughts in boxes most of the time. Ask me and i'll never answer. be a child and you'll get my way of doing things.

ma gandeam ca in general oamenii isi dau seama. Adica pot sa isi dea seama, daca vor. si Sunt putini aia care vor. oricum, nici nu conteaza asa de mult, numai ca mi se blocase creierul pe chestia asta acum cateva ore.

Facusem mai demult niste barcute albastre, un fel de armata de barcute albastre decorate cu tot felul de motive nebune. si barcutele astea stateau pe un perete si mergeau spre usa pentru ca erau niste proaste si chiar credeau ca daca iubesti o idee, ideea aia automat te va umple de emotii dragute in momentul in care incepe sa se materializeze. Si erau niste proaste idealiste. Si pusesem un biletel intr-un dintre ele in scrisesem ca proasta ' they kept going because they were holding on to something' . Si chiar crezusem in chestia aia. si imi placuse. Si ma impulsionau. Niste barcute proaste si idealiste. Poate pentru ca si eu sunt la fel. Nici macar un copil de 5 ani nu ar face o tampenie mai mare. si eu aveam 17 atunci. si mai facusem inca vreo 50 si le tineam in niste cutii. si apoi imi cumparasem niste clesti de par si vruiam sa fac din ei un fel de vrabiute si corbi. si nu puteam sa dorm noaptea pentru ca aveam impresia ca ceea ce urma sa fac era important. s-a dus naiba si asta

'Pick a rose just to hide my face'

'I made you and now I take you back'


love this band.
do you still have favourite things? or you're lost into shallow worlds? loveee

amfibian

weird little creatures beneath the stairs, laughing and counting the steps, getting amazed by the lenght of your feet. The ceiling gets higher and then comes near your head with a bizzare movement, walls made out of melting wax, still you're getting cold, colder, colder.
The elevator is transparent and the floors get counted wrong, as if 6 is before 3.. The hall seems a crowded highway and until you get to your door millions of monsters try to bite your ears and plants run holding knives.

the water brings them all back to their way.

television works as usual for 3 hours.

then water again. the shampoon bottle getting empty, your hands fool of soap and water getting violently inside your ears, the black towel hanging on a blue thing glued on the wall.

music and plans for the insane future. :D

and wondering why people do still have such an impact and why I am such a fool.

sad face in middle april ( i know i will)

Shinny times we live .indeed.
let's tell stories about what i've been doing lately...
Dreaming, getting serious, thinking about strange stories, trying to walk the line, discovering new colours, getting up very early and walking on the frozen streets of Bucharest, watching stars (i saw the beautiful Saturn- hello, loveee. And Venus, lots of constelations and met nice kids), breathing really deep, feeling alone and then suffocated by people, falling for some things, rediscovering old hobbies, painting, reading, thinking, watching movies, listening to crazy music, planning my holidays, learning french, freezing in the middle of the night on a certain roof watching strange things in the sky, reducing chocolate, increasing coffee(evan more, if that's possible), trying to relax and to take it easy, moving in different ways, laughing like insane, changing my way of laughing( little detail observed by my dearest friend), soul-searching, re-reading some poems, etc..


the thing is that you never know when to let something go. i guess.

mirror mirror, i'll be your mirror ;)

Wonder why all my fashion icons are boys
:-?:-?:-?:-? hrmmm.

for freddie with ... tired eyes.

uh, killer killer queen.
wazzzup. love?
i've been more or less a little junkie for 2 days. well, 2 dayz and a half . almost 3. (still i did my painting;) )
i shall bite my lip to blood and get back straight and sane. but, wait, I still have some more holiday to waste, do I?
Maybe I am listening too much to funny music or watching way tooo many movies ( tooo many of Almodovar's movies and I feel unsually....well. hard to say )
Oh, shut up monsters in my head.

As to not forget.. I remembered all those beautiful times last summer. Sad, Exciting, Teary, Screamy, etc. but Beautiful times. With the mighty Ficatzel on the road, -reddish being on wheels.

I am just too sad not be there. There There. I made some wrong choices this week.

And i started to read some old russian fairy tales i found over here. And to take deep breaths. To think. To measure facts, to cut my hair again, to make new clothes, to paint, to craft, to walk my dog twice a day, to wonder about life. I have a busy life, what did you expect?

horror movies

pfff. got too moody lately.
now I'm into horror stuff (it won't last more than 3 hours) Then I'll start doing designs for my future dresses and bags, birdcages and flower bottles. ( I think creative people should built their own stuff and stop buying so much from famous brands . but I'll discuss these some other time)
I'll go home for 4 days, I'll be painting and dreaming, trying to recover.
I've had some problems lately, but I guess being alone for some days will do me good. I have to take some important decissions and then start working with and by myself.
Also, I've been creating some odd stories and going through weird experiences ( maybe because I'm too tired and dizzy)
well, well, beware beware!
Today I remembered Sylvia. Read again some poems and got in her mood. And I also got impressed(again and again and again) by magic realism . Isn't it soooo great ?

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons ;)

my dream is broken .
patetic.
citesc T.S. Elliot din nou. da da. the lovesong of j. alfred prufrock. pentru a 10000000 oara
ah, si da. sa nu uit.. cred ca s-a facut praf tot ce facusem pana acum de cand am inceput facultatea. emotional si ideologic vorbind.

travelling mood

but I like it ) i try to recover from my long lasting winter depressive moods,
I believe everything i read in books. :d that's why i have strange dreams and insane nightmares.
I wish i had money to go to my dream concert ( patrick wolf, 8th of march, colchester, chez Ade) but if it's not now, it will be soon :)) it was one of my new year's wishes- to go to one of patty's concerts.
I do plans for next week, I think something important will happen soon. ;)
I started drawing again . feels so good. :d I bought myself 3 agendas and i plan to buy some more. + my head is full of ideas and desires for a better life, still .. i often (every 10 minutes) become down-hearted and swear on God that i will burry myself indoors and never again do anything that involves contact with other people. But I guess it's normal to have these doubts.
Oh, today is boring, tomorrow will be a murder scene. I have to take a difficult exam and my brain is broken.
I had a strange dream and cried of fear, but i guess it let me lots of ideas for my future paintings.
Well, this was a page of stupid thing, but I feel better after writing it. What ? I am a selfish little animal . What did you expect? Thank you for reading this nonsense. ;)

*

le noir et le noir, il y a beaucoup de differences. ;)

in my secret life , in my secret life. i abused this song all this week. i overwatched the video. and thought maybe too much about the theme.
but, isn't it all so lovely? and funny at a certain point ( until it becomes weird:)))?
like... i am such an idiot in real life, i stumble, i fall, i say stupid things, i laugh like a retard, i dream during my classes, i forget about my homework, i disappoint people, i stare into people's eyes, i stay quiet when i sould speak and then i become hyperactive when i should stay quiet. I am the upper limit of stupid empirism and never believe without going through the experience. I abuse all i like and I make sure that i get the last drop of the things i am impressed by. I know no limits. Then i fall into deep dreams and never wake up on time .
but.. in my secret life i do things in a different way. in my secret life everything moves so like me , has exactly the rythm i do. And , besides, i do have lots of secret interests and secret wishes for a suprarealistic life. But, as they are secret, I can't tell. :D

dream dream, filling up an idle hour

why do i always have to be the weak part, the weirdoo, the ugly one, the nonsense, the eccentric, the insane, the borderline?
+
oh, but i don't mind, really. at all. these days.
is like.. oh, i switch personalities too often. ;)

+
now i'm into the 70's-80's , trying to absorb all they could give.
+
soon i'll get bored and i'll be into Indian gods, i guess.
+ tea and biscuits, anyone? or at least, mood for searching, anyone?
+
'creati o poveste' . eh, later this week. ;)

I am

Harry, asta e teatrul in care vreau sa joc si sa fac decoruri si costume. Un teatru doar pentru nebuni.

Si sinuciderea e o boala care te tine in viata pana la urma, nu-i asha ? Si de fapt niciun sinucigas nu comite cumplita fapta. El doar traieste cu obsesia de a o face si isi imagineaza moduri in care evenimentul eliberator s-ar putea intampla. Se sinucid numai cei care ajung la un fel de disperare sau uitare de sine pentru cateva momente. Atat. Conteaza doar contextul. Atat. Au avut o dezamagire si pentru 2 secunde nu au mai vazut nimic. Li s-a oprit inima pe un pistol sau le-a pulsat ultima vena inainte de atingerea unui cutit,etc.
Dar cand esti un sinucigas, cand suferi de boala asta, te gandesti doar. Viata are nuante si sensuri ciudate pentru tine. Oglinda te infatiseaza altcumva decat esti, nu ? Spune-mi ce vezi? un animal, o planta , un monstru de nedescris ai carui ochi se impletesc si suprapun? Mda. Intri in culoare cu multe usi, simti un pustiu de nedescris si ti-e ameteala in loc sa te sufoci si sa cauti o iesire. Deasupra lor sunt mesaje, franturi de ganduri. Inspaimantator. Intr-atat incat sa le deschizi si sa le traiesti terifiat pe rand.

Asha. Azi mi-am amintit de cartea care a avut cel mai mare impact asupra mea.

rabbits don't actually bite , they kill.

waiting .-as if she would expect him to be there everytime she turns her head to left.
smiling as if she was sure he would respond with a smile as well. eyes would meet and that is.. the story is already started.
is like.. i really want to paint this thing. the deer falling for the wolf or something. maybe i would choose some other little opposites , but you get the idea.
oh, if only i could stop concetrating on small disasters and stop lighting bombs in my head, everything would be just fine. fine as an evening when you drink tea and have some biscuits, then watch a creepy film and cry until you fall asleep. then you wake up laughing. what a day would be that when you wake up laughing at yourself. ;)

oh, dear! something drives me really crazy. :)) maybe the exams, maybe the people around me, maybe the coffee i have, maybe the dog that eats my bag or my shirt and then i have nothing to wear.


btw: it seems that
Dreaming is free
distraction is an obstruction to the construction
the brain is the most impressive thing in the universe, and it's right behind the nose ( as to make me confused enough to refuse to study funny things for university)

this is all for today, little creatures. I shall take my lazy self and my immaginary friends and go to shhhhtudy.

funny day we had, is that so ?

clever dialogue

' i don't eat fish?
why ?
fish piss in the water
so do children.
well, i don't eat children eather. '

and then closer closer closer .
love that film. saw it again these days.

madame Tua. Lechat

secret places are the best .

leather jacket, all designers' . shinny shinny, tricky eyes

Acting like a good mannered bastard, yet too sarcastic to compromise. looking straight into their eyes, you turn on every one and each of them. You wear black and adore the sublime luxe of a great perfume. how much do you care about a certain Anna or Marie, i could say you don't even bother to memorize their looks. unimpressive beings, aren't they? but you're having fun after all, playing and hurting; isn't that your guilty pleasure? you drink the best champagne, you have the greatest tastes in wine or cigarettes. cruel bird of night, you still posess that weak point in your iron chest.
end of foolish story ;)

unhealty attitude, but i can't help it

I found this wonderful boy who writes wonders. i actually didn't find the boy, i found the wonders, but the boy writes them, so ..now you understand why i chose to begin my idea like that.
anyway, this is not my point in this dizzy evening.

Oh, i happen to fall in love with poetry and nice novels lately.
shame on me, i should be more into dramatic writting. But.. some wizzards-writters took my mind away from me. ;)

Here I go again. again again again. Sick and tired face in front of my computer. Looking for some creepy things. Looking for some creepy music.
But, what what what !?!?!?!?!
hey, this is the funny and charming 2009? is it already?!!?!!


well, then i change plans and attitudes. :d
Maybe i'll go and pick my books, my pencils and my old CDs , my suprarealistic dreams and start doing something more productive.

Meet me on Monday, I'll rock that day. ;)